Once, upon a time…
“Hey wait who is this?” I looked surprised.
My life had been plain all along. Emptiness was my trade
mark I could say. It seemed as though I was just a common piece of commodity
that was widely available without any sort of speciality. Yet, I was content
and happy with what I was.
Until now, who is she?
She was sleek. Her hair was so smooth and shiny. With a
single touch she could give happiness and control of what is to come. The moment our interaction had started, I started
to transform. The plain life gave way to a painting. With vibrant colours that
represented joy, laughter and happiness. I who was nothing but empty till then started to
feel the difference. I could not name it though. I liked what she was doing to
me.
Little by little she worked on me. My emptiness seemed to be
losing swiftly to her. By the time she covered more than half of me, I understood
no longer could I live without her. I need her to keep painting on me in order
to live on. That’s when I realised…
‘I LOVE HER’
I gathered all my guts to tell her what I felt. Hesitant of
what the reaction would be I prolonged the transfer of information from me to
her about my love. The space on me was soon running out. Hence, I knew that
time was also on the run. I finally told her “I Love You”, in the faintest of whispers
of my life. But, she heard it loud and clear.
Her reaction at first seemed to have been that of betrayal
of our relationship. Yet, she tried to hide it. The interactions between us had
sunk. I barely knew what was going on. Still I hoped that she was just too
stubborn to accept the truth and time proved I was right. She came back to me
with love. The rest of me also was open
for her now.
She was fascinating after that. The way she swirled around
me blending her life with mine. A million colours of life that we shared and
awaited the countless more to come. Life was more than perfect to me. I could
not have wished for a better life.
Until,
Somewhere in the blending of our life had arisen conflicts. I
thought it will hybridize as time moves on with one another. But, life had different
plans. The relationship was fading away and I was so blindly in love to see the
truth. I thought nothing could separate us. I was nothing but erratic in my way
of thinking…
A day came when she made up her mind without any doubt that
this has to end. I could not blame her, but she apparently believed that she had
given up her other important obligation for me and no longer was willing to
continue on this path.
I stood there listing, broken and with unanswerable tears
that my eyes shed. Yet, I wanted her to be happy and I let her go. It was the
hardest thing to do in my life, even then what she wanted and her happiness
seemed to be more substantial to me. I did not mind crying if only, to but a
smile on her face.
She left me, filling the remaining space on me entirely with
colours of sadness and cry; my emptiness returned to me.
I was back to who I was but, thought she left me; she also
left behind something with me that no one could ever take. MEMORIES, all the
painting that she had did will always exist; reminding me every bit of her. The only place in this world where I can find
her how she was when we were in love is there.
As life progressed I realised that she had left no space
empty in my life when she went. My life belonged only to her and the memories
cannot be erased. There was nothing I could paint new. Infarct, there was
nothing I could do but hold on to those memories as it was all I had and all I
had ever wanted.
Stuck between the fantasy we dreamed about and the reality I
see now.
The brain says’ move on man’ but my heart neglects’ how can
you?’
A never ending argument has started. When will it stop? Where
will this end?
Time will tell.
