Perspectives

I was walking back to my room from the juice shop that I regularly visit for a drink after my dinner daily. It had become a routine for me to do that, so was listening to music when I took this trip. But, today I was in no mood to listen to music. My mind was engulfed with vivid thoughts, so I intended silence to be my comrade for the journey. As peoples opinion about me had complicated my thought process dramatically.

I was lost deep in speculations that my head hung low for most of the time. The wide range of vehicles from two wheeled bikes to huge trucks with lot of wheels raced passed me on the road, as I walked along the direction of the speeding motor vehicles.  All of a sudden I could see a beam of light that hit my face. I looked up to find that there was a two wheeler heading right towards me. I froze at my place as the rider took a sharp turn as he went past me, pulling pretty words from my mouth along with him. The words echoed in my mind but my tongue was under control.

I stood there to take a breath that is when I noticed, I was standing below a light post without any movement. Yet due to the different vehicles that zoomed passed me there were multiple shadows being formed of me on the road. These changed sizes along with the movement of the vehicles. Some of the lights were very powerful that they made dark thick shadows and the dim lights made shadows that were hardly visible to the human eye. I tried to figure out which was the most promising shadow that stood apart from the rest to give a clear outline of myself. I could only arrive at the conclusion that only the shadow that was formed due to the lamp post was static in nature with reasonable amount of dept.

My mind started to relate this with the thoughts it was so busily engulfed with; I realized that those lights are like people looking at you. Every single individual looks at you in a different way. The impact, that is, the shadow that is made is your image. But, what they see is based upon how they look at you. This varies from person to person like the power of their light. The more close they observe, the darker and more distinct will be the image created. To the ones who look only at the surface level, they don’t have bright enough light that is they simply lack the ability to observe thoroughly. You are only partially responsible for what they think about you.

These thoughts cleared my mind and made me feel better and relieved. I was happy that at least the lamp posts light made a static shadow of me. Believed that at least one was be able to see me for what I really am and started to move on.

Oh! Now with every step I took even shadow made by the lamp post light stared to change! Shattering those valiant hopes! Enlightening in the end, It was never about you …

It’s with the eyes that see you! If you move even a little everything they see will change. Even you will see the difference.

You just have to look close enough!

My Best Friend

Tell me if you feel the same.


My closest friend I could say. He has been lingering with me at the times of my loudest laughter and at times of my deepest sorrow. I don't call him at all; he just appears there as if he knows that I need him at that very moment. Sometimes, I stop him at the very genesis of his appearance and deny him from getting close to me. Even at those times I know for certain that he is there for me. He is not a strong big person but a feeble person possessing the firm warmth of consolation. With him your heart feels light, very light. He may let you all blurred out in his company but when he leaves he takes the weight off your shoulder. I know when I turn for help, only he will be there waiting for me in my own eye, to comfort me always.

My dear tear, are you a silent way of God saying I'm here…

Love Story of a Paper.

Once, upon a time…

“Hey wait who is this?” I looked surprised. 

My life had been plain all along. Emptiness was my trade mark I could say. It seemed as though I was just a common piece of commodity that was widely available without any sort of speciality. Yet, I was content and happy with what I was.

Until now, who is she?

She was sleek. Her hair was so smooth and shiny. With a single touch she could give happiness and control of what is to come.  The moment our interaction had started, I started to transform. The plain life gave way to a painting. With vibrant colours that represented joy, laughter and happiness.  I who was nothing but empty till then started to feel the difference. I could not name it though. I liked what she was doing to me.

Little by little she worked on me. My emptiness seemed to be losing swiftly to her. By the time she covered more than half of me, I understood no longer could I live without her. I need her to keep painting on me in order to live on. That’s when I realised…

‘I LOVE HER’ 

I gathered all my guts to tell her what I felt. Hesitant of what the reaction would be I prolonged the transfer of information from me to her about my love. The space on me was soon running out. Hence, I knew that time was also on the run. I finally told her “I Love You”, in the faintest of whispers of my life. But, she heard it loud and clear. 

Her reaction at first seemed to have been that of betrayal of our relationship. Yet, she tried to hide it. The interactions between us had sunk. I barely knew what was going on. Still I hoped that she was just too stubborn to accept the truth and time proved I was right. She came back to me with love.  The rest of me also was open for her now.

She was fascinating after that. The way she swirled around me blending her life with mine. A million colours of life that we shared and awaited the countless more to come. Life was more than perfect to me. I could not have wished for a better life. 

Until,

Somewhere in the blending of our life had arisen conflicts. I thought it will hybridize as time moves on with one another. But, life had different plans. The relationship was fading away and I was so blindly in love to see the truth. I thought nothing could separate us. I was nothing but erratic in my way of thinking…

A day came when she made up her mind without any doubt that this has to end. I could not blame her, but she apparently believed that she had given up her other important obligation for me and no longer was willing to continue on this path. 

I stood there listing, broken and with unanswerable tears that my eyes shed. Yet, I wanted her to be happy and I let her go. It was the hardest thing to do in my life, even then what she wanted and her happiness seemed to be more substantial to me. I did not mind crying if only, to but a smile on her face.

She left me, filling the remaining space on me entirely with colours of sadness and cry; my emptiness returned to me.

I was back to who I was but, thought she left me; she also left behind something with me that no one could ever take. MEMORIES, all the painting that she had did will always exist; reminding me every bit of her.  The only place in this world where I can find her how she was when we were in love is there.

As life progressed I realised that she had left no space empty in my life when she went. My life belonged only to her and the memories cannot be erased. There was nothing I could paint new. Infarct, there was nothing I could do but hold on to those memories as it was all I had and all I had ever wanted.

Stuck between the fantasy we dreamed about and the reality I see now. 

The brain says’ move on man’ but my heart neglects’ how can you?’

A never ending argument has started. When will it stop? Where will this end?

Time will tell. 

Colors of life.

I was going home in an AC bus. It was a Friday and the bus was jam packed as the weekend had a bonus holiday on Monday for the birth of Vinayagar. I was at dismay as my phone's headset was broken. Hence, I could do nothing but stare at the never ending road. I was standing in the front of the bus and had a clear view of the road; I could have driven the bus from the place I stood if at all I knew to drive. We zoomed across many vehicles on the process of reaching our destination Vellore, my home. It had become a routine to see the road and the passing by cars. As it was the only option available.

None of the vehicles seemed to matter, until we were behind a gray colored Qualis. There was nothing special about the car as such. But, all of a sudden a figure seemed to pop up in the back seat of the car. It was clearly visible to us through the plain glass at the rear door of the car. It was a cute baby. I was assured that the baby was no more than 2 years of age. Had curly hair on the oval face and it complemented the perfectly round eyes that were shining by reflecting the high powered headlights of the bus.  If I'm not wrong the baby was a HE. He smiled and transferred the same onto me. It spread to my fellow companions of bus as well. He also responded to the various hands that waved at him by returning the warm wave back at us. It nearly lasted for 2 minutes as the driver looked at the vacant road ahead and decided to overtake the car along with our smiles and waves. I kept my eyes fixed on the baby as we zoomed past the car until I could see him no more.

It was back to the same old boring routine. But, I cherished that memory till I reached home not knowing why.

That night, I was closing my eyes to dream. I thought of the same baby again. I realized then; that is life. We live a routine life and sparks like these happen every now and them. Some prove to be good and some bad. But, the fact is everything matters. Cause…

That's what makes life complete.